Push On and Make It a Memory
6/20/20262 min read
At 3:00 this morning, my daughter threw up all over my hardwood floor. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep.
All six of my children have a genetic disorder called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Their mother has it as well, and unfortunately, it seems like someone is always sick. Doctor appointments, unexpected illnesses, and sleepless nights are just part of life around here.
To make things more interesting, I've had a sore throat for four days and am now getting checked for strep throat myself.
Today I was hoping to go to confession before Mass. My daughter is going to an amusement park with a friend, so I'm trying to figure out how to make everything work. I really hope I can get to confession before Mass because the Eucharist is my favorite part of the entire liturgy. I know I'm in mortal sin, and while I won't share the details, I know where I stand spiritually and want to be reconciled before receiving Our Lord.
My faith wasn't always this important to me.
After my accident, everything changed. The moment I opened my eyes, I knew God had saved me for a reason. I can't explain it any better than that. I simply knew.
Life after the accident hasn't been easy. I still deal with pain every day. One wrong movement can remind me of injuries that never fully healed. I fight memory problems constantly. Some days are better than others, but every day requires effort.
Then there are my six children.
When they're with me, my focus is completely on them. I want to make sure they're safe, healthy, fed, loved, and cared for. Everything that has to do with me gets pushed to the side. The dishes can wait. The laundry can wait. My own needs can wait. Being their father comes first.
Sometimes it all feels overwhelming.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 36 years old, although I've lived with it my entire life. Anxiety often tags along for the ride. Some days my mind feels like it's running a marathon while my body is begging for rest.
Yet as strange as it sounds, I see all of these struggles as graces.
Not because they are enjoyable. Not because suffering is fun. But because every hardship reminds me that this world is not my final destination.
I find myself focused on Heaven more and more as I get older.
People spend so much time worrying about the temporary things in life that they rarely stop to think about eternity. This life feels long when we're living it, but compared to eternity, it is less than a blink of an eye.
The pain, the sleepless nights, the disappointments, the struggles with health, the anxiety, the heartbreak—one day all of it will be over.
What will matter is whether we loved God, loved others, and remained faithful through the trials we were given.
That's why, no matter how hard life gets, I try to remember one simple truth:
Keep moving forward.
Push on.
One day, today's struggles will simply be memories.
And hopefully, by God's grace, they will be memories that helped lead us home.